Lists: odd things

*Every time I go into my bank, the Food Network, on mute is on all the televisions. I think this is strange, but I also couldn't come up with a better option except possibly No Television.

*A friend of Ryan's acted poorly when he told her that we were getting married. I don't want to think about it anymore, yet my mind keeps wondering back to it. I feel like I should rise above it, I know that it doesn't really matter. Perhaps that's the concern - maybe she is worried that she doesn't matter and is trying to change that by behaving badly, to have some effect on Ryan's life, even if it is negative.

*Hubig's Fruit Pies mysteriously appeared in the office and then not so mysteriously disappeared. Well. Except the coconut flavour. Duh.

*I had a long dream last night and woke up with absolute determination to write a letter to the person who the dream was about - they weren't in it, it was a dream about their absence. I've had the dream at least twice before, somehow I wander into my beloved house in Santa Barbara and it's been done up with nice furniture, more loft space and beautiful artwork is on the walls. The house is empty, they are in Bend, Oregon except for one girl I've never met, who lives there now. I'm annoyed that she's there and she's uncomfortable that I'm there. I try and leave a note on the white board next to the 805 Joy-Walk phone but my handwriting or phrasing or words are all wrong and I keep erasing it. I woke up thinking I must write that letter.

Buddhism

"It's awful, but I just can't help it. Whenever I see the Buddha, I think of Rove. We used to call him "Buddha." Karl's lost weight. Still, if you ever pictured him in a diaper, you never forget it."

George W. Bush, talking to the Dalai Lama

Impending Weddings

I went to Sacramento this weekend to spend some time with Ryan's parents. I had a really nice time because he has a really nice, down to earth, strangely normal family. There is obviously so much unspoken love in that family.

I will say this though: it's strange to spend time with people that you know you are going to know for the rest of your life, but you don't know them very well -yet-.
I imagine that the feeling was mutual but possibly even weirder: here is some girl, you've only met once and you're son is planning on sharing his life with her, yet another reminder that your child is not only an adult, but has a whole life away from you.
------------------------------
In other news:

We've gotten as far as creating a guest list and I understand one is supposed to choose "colours" for the wedding. I've chosen peach and aqua (the bridesmaids will be in long sleeve, peach chiffon with aqua sashes and shoes to match) , but I haven't decided whether or not the theme will be "Disneyana" or "Classy."

I think I want a 4 tier cake, with custom made bride and groom dolls on top - I hear you can get them made with actual hair clippings - so they'll actually look like us too!

I'm hoping to have the reception in some sort of cheap, large, church. It doesn't matter what denomination although I like the modern look of Church of Christ churches and it is always nice when they have gift shops - that way, the guests can buy their own mementos of the weddings, in addition to the key chains and refrigerator magnets that I'll give out at the reception from my chair that's been elevated above everyone on risers so that I can feel like the princess I am.

The magnets will be pictures of me and Ryan and Jeeves. Jeeves will be in a little doggy tuxedo and Ryan will be wearing the jersey of his favourite sports team. I haven't decided on what I'll be wearing but it will either be my Tigger sweatshirt with those jeans I love, the ones with the 9 inch zipper or that floor length, floral shirt dress that I got from the JC Penney catalogue.
My hair: crimped bangs and pulled back into a pony tail of course. I want people to remember that despite the bitch I've been planning on behaving like since I was 10 years old and given my Super Wedding Barbie Doll, I'm still the same Christian rock loving, pressed penny collecting, zany, wacky me!

PS. Ryan and I aren't on speaking terms at the moment. He has flat out refused the idea of us leaving the reception in a horse drawn carriage or even hot-air balloon just because the reception is taking place in the back room of the local YMCA!

Internet Wives and Second Life

This is a bit of a disjointed entry that is an effort to preserve information for a paper.

Rather than writing about the Craigslist Goldigger I'm going to attempt to sum up a conversation that I had with Ryan yesterday regarding internet relationships, such as the one exemplified by this man.

The article that I linked to above is the one that started the conversation - it's about a man who spends all his waking hours (between 6am and 2am) living his "Second Life" with his second wife, that is, his internet wife as opposed to his real, legally bound one.

I made a statement that suggesting that his relationship wasn't real because it wasn't based on reality.

But, in fact, a great many "real" relationships aren't actually based on reality. Also, we go through the same emotions and behaviour with online relationships as we would in the non online world - we aren't equipped otherwise. The man in the story claims that he could express things to his internet wife much more easily than to his real wife - he could tell her "anything." So despite the fact that there is no actual bearing on his life, that there is no "risk" involved in expressing himself, people still get emotionally attached to avatars representing people that don't exist.

The emotions are real, the people aren't.

It's the same situation as seeing someone on the bus everyday and conversing with them. You could be anyone, tell them anything and it wouldn't matter.

Then there's this story, which is fodder for a movie.

Good Calories, Bad Calories and Troglodytes.

There is a current backlash towards the backlash towards fat. I first read about it yesterday in an article by Gina Kolata about Gary Taubes' new book "Good Calories, Bad Calories" (Knopf, 2007). Today, again in the NY Times there is an article about how wrong we are in regards to fat intake and whether or not fat is actually bad for you.

Unfortunately, Gina Kolata's article does little to debunk Gary Taubes other than this blurb at the end of the article:

"I'm sorry, but I'm not convinced."

I'm not convinced either and John Tierney's article today did little to convince me either.

"In the case of fatty foods, that confident voice belonged to Ancel Keys, a prominent diet researcher a half-century ago (the K-rations in World War II were said to be named after him). He became convinced in the 1950s that Americans were suffering from a new epidemic of heart disease because they were eating more fat than their ancestors.

There were two glaring problems with this theory, as Mr. Taubes, a correspondent for Science magazine, explains in his book. First, it wasn’t clear that traditional diets were especially lean. Nineteenth-century Americans consumed huge amounts of meat; the percentage of fat in the diet of ancient hunter-gatherers, according to the best estimate today, was as high or higher than the ratio in the modern Western diet.

Second, there wasn’t really a new epidemic of heart disease. Yes, more cases were being reported, but not because people were in worse health. It was mainly because they were living longer and were more likely to see a doctor who diagnosed the symptoms."

First of all, after WWII, we experienced a cultural and economic shift. We went from a country of farmers to a country of factories, corporations and office buildings. Since then, due to a number of reasons, our lifestyles have gone from active to sedentary, from physical labor to sitting at office desks all day. It would make sense that a fattier diet would not result in the same health problems that are prevalent today: we exercised more and thus needed to eat more.

Second, I'm not sure how often Mr. Taubes or Mr. Tierney has tried to catch game using nothing but a wooden stick, but it isn't easy. There is no way we ate meat in the quantities that we do today and when we did catch it, it was shared among family groups of 20-30 people. It's true we do need fats, sugars and salts. But we like them because they were scarce and hard to come by: Our ancestors who craved meat, went out, caught it, received appropriate nutrition and survived. The ones that didn't died from insufficiencies. Why else would we waste the effort? It's dangerous and hard work to hunt, physical labor or "exercise" is required - much easier to sit around eating roots.

Which brings me to another point. The list of "bad calories" that Mr. Taubes has put in his book:

"Bread and other baked goods, potatoes, yams, rice, pasta, cereal grains, corn, sugar (sucrose and high fructose corn syrup), ice cream, candy, soft drinks, fruit juices, bananas and other tropical fruits, and beer."

This list includes yams, potatoes and bananas - some cultures subsist on diets that are primarily made up of these foods. They do not have a prevalence of obesity. Americans, who live on a diet of McDonalds hamburgers, french fries and oreo cookies do. Bread, cereal grains, corn and beer are all things that we have been consuming for thousands of years. Mr. Taubes argument that "we used to eat it before" appears a little thin here - you can't claim that we've been doing it forever so it can't be bad for you and then suggest that something else that we've been doing forever is instead bad for you.

Unfortunately, this is getting a lot of press and it will provide one more excuse for the overweight troglodytes to eat crap and not exercise.

Addendum to Late For Work

I just arrived home, there was a chewed empty bag of Jeeves "Missing Link" supplement on the floor, Benjamin was missing, there was a trail if discarded cartons and bags out into the garden where Benjy lay on the grass chewed but still in one piece. My bed had mud and dust all over it and chewed tissues from the tissue box were strewn over it!

e

(From my mother)

Late for work

I was 10 minutes late for work this morning. I woke up at 5:15 am, got up and got out of bed and started to walk towards my closet. Something in the corner made me turn my head and I realized that Jeeves was in the corner of my room, in the process of waking up too. He was stretching out his front and back legs while he lay on his side. His eyes were squeezed shut and his mouth was open wide while his tongue curled upwards towards his top front teeth. I thought it was odd that he was even present, because I had left him at my parents house. I sat down next to him and put my arms around his neck. He was warm and soft and sleepy, so he let me. Normally he doesn't like being cuddled, but when he's really sleepy, he puts up with it. I try and take advantage of that when I can.
As happy as I was to see him, I thought it was really strange that he was there. Then I walked over to the closest, he followed me quietly, with his ears and head carried low and his tail wagging, silently. His nails clicked on the hard wood but it was clear he was trying to be soundless. I started to decide what I wanted to wear. I noticed something on the floor - it was one of his toys, which he picked up and then dropped as he noticed something else, also in the closet. I bent down although I was sure it was another toy. It was, in fact, but not one of his. It was one of mine, a soft toy of a Beatrix Potter character, Benjamin Bunny. He had been given to me when I was very small by my aunt Fran. He wore a little brown jacket and a green tam o shanter and had a red handkerchief in his pocket for stealing onions from Mr. Macgregor's garden.
The day before, Jeeves had savagely torn Benjamin's jacket into pieces and dragged him into the back garden at my parents house. But here he was, lying in my closet with his jacket in one piece. Upon closer examination, I noticed that it wasn't actually in one piece, but rather someone had carefully stitched the pieces back together.

I concluded that my mother must have visited me in the night, bringing both Jeeves and Benjamin, after mending Benjamin's coat. How she hadn't woken me or why she had done it was beyond me. It occurred to me that I might even be dreaming but that made no sense. I was up and awake and getting ready for work.

I continued to get dressed and finally went to turn the radio off. I was right on time. And then I saw myself lying in bed still.

Then I rolled over and looked at the clock only to realize that it was 5:57 and I was supposed to be at work in 3 minutes.

Offending Bits

My dog has earned a new nickname.

"Offending Bits"

Why?

Because he mauled a cherished stuffed animal. And then Ryan said something about getting rid of "Offending Bits" while eating a wormy apple.

Popcorn workers lung

So apparently popcorn is bad for your health. I realize this is old news, but I didn't post it until now because I didn't have enough material to provide a sufficient rant.

Until this entry in the NY Times Editorial Notebook. It's a poorly written article and it's also a general trend in laziness that is pervasive on the part of consumers.

The author describes in detail how for a brief minute, he was scared about all the horrid chemicals in his refrigerator. But instead of doing anything about it, he chose to ignore it.

Which is like an obese person reading an article about how being fat is bad for your health and then thinking,

"Gosh. I am Really Fat. I should do something about it before I die of some awful, obesity related disease such as diabetes. I should really stop eating all this crap and take some exercise."

And then thinking,

"You know, everything in my refrigerator at the moment is made of sugar or animal lard. I'm not going to bother after all."

I realize that it would be stressful and difficult, possibly even time wasting to absolutely make sure you controlled all the ingredients in your food - HOWEVER discovering that all the food in your refrigerator contains sodium poisonate is not a reason not to make lifestyle changes. It isn't hard to cook and eat fresh food and being too busy shouldn't be an excuse, because it isn't actually as time consuming as you would think. It's no less time consuming to make a pot of soup with fresh vegetables and spice than it is to cook a frozen pizza.

Here is an example of the authors thinking:

"Sodium benzoate is ubiquitous. It’s in the lime juice we use for cooking, the tonic water, the oriental chicken marinade, even the hummus...For a moment the anxiety floored me. Then I decided to deal with the burst of consumer angst in much the same way I have addressed other such choices: I looked the other way."

The ubiquitous nature of potentially unhealthy ingredients is not a reason to shrug your shoulders and then bury your head in the sand. Fresh limes don't make sodium benzoate naturally and it takes about 5 minutes to make your own, homemade marinade or hummus and they will taste much better for it. And for god's sake, why not just drink your liquor straight, you wimp.

His argument against trying to eat vegetarian or organic?

"But say I went organic or vegan or something. Might not the peanut butter or the wheat gluten assault me? Addressing these fears head-on would probably require devoting my life to the study of organic chemistry."

I don't need to point out the asinine suggestion that veganism requires a degree in organic chemistry. I do, however, need to point out that "because it's hard" shouldn't be something that so readily stops people from things that are better for their body, their families health and for the rest of the community, especially when it isn't actually that hard.

I don't like doughnuts.

Today I declared my dislike for doughnuts and was summarily told to get off my high horse. It wasn’t directed at me in order to make me feel bad or uncomfortable; indeed the person who made the comment stopped himself about halfway through the word “horse” seemingly realizing that it was coming off a bit callous. It still bothered me.

It bothered me the same way that being called a “movie snob” by photographer Jared Raskind, when I was living in Santa Barbara. He was a friend of mine that at one point refused to rent a movie with me on the grounds that I hated every movie we watched together and it wasn’t fun.

He claimed Steven Spielberg to be one of the greatest directors of all time because he’s made “like, a ton of movies that everybody likes”, a point I disputed by explaining that he was probably one of the highest grossing directors of all times due to his skill at making films that appeal to the lowest common denominator, but not one of the “greatest” directors. He also argued that there was no way I could know whether or not a movie was going to be good before I’d seen it – even if I’d seen the previews, read the book or knew who the director, actors, writers and/or directors of photography were and whether or not I’d hated all of there previous work.

I gave in and subjected myself to Black Hawk Down, biting my tongue and then summarily lying through my teeth at the end when he asked me what I thought, he responded with a satisfied priggish response: “See? You enjoyed it.”

I didn’t but I was still a little hurt and confused by his remarks regarding my taste in movies, much in the same way that I was a little put out by the comment this morning. I wasn’t trying to alienate myself in either case but the feeling that I had gotten was that I had given that impression. That the other person may have been lashing out at me with the same sentiment that I have towards people who only like bands you’ve never heard of or tell you that you wouldn’t “understand” Burning Man unless you’ve been. The sort of people who drive Prius’s powered by their own sense of self satisfaction and are so distracted by their own smugness that they cut you off and drive 5 miles below the speed limit in the fast lane.

A similar experience would be with restaurants. Ryan made a commitment to himself that he was no longer going to go to bad restaurants. This was after a coworker had called him a food snob for not wanting to eat at Chili’s or Chatchke’s or Chevy’s or somewhere like that. After making that commitment and then turning down another offer from a different coworker to go to a place of equally bad value for too much money, she told him he was being “ridiculous."

On the one hand I can see how this sort of behaviour comes off as affected, artificial and pretentious, but it’s really not. I honestly do not like doughnuts and never have. I do ­have guilty pleasures, such as watching only the beginnings of “How Clean is Your House” to be appalled at filthy people’s houses or staying up passed my bedtime eating cheese and watching Fry & Laurie sketches on Youtube.

This reflection has really brought nothing to light for me. I'm still uncomfortable at the thought of people sensing that I am purposely alienating myself but I'm even more uncomfortable at the idea of doing things I don't like, that cost money and make me feel physically unhappy just to make someone else not feel bad about their own choices.

I suspect that compromises are in order and I don't like those either.

Making fun of religious people. Again.

Found this article while doing research for a presentation at work. It's an excerpt from a book called Dressing with Dignity by Colleen Hammond, published by TAN Books. . Most of it is a review of women's fashions, starting with Adam and Eve and ending with the effect on trousers in marketing.

It seems that when women wear trousers, men's eyes immediately follow the line up their legs to the inevitable "woman's most private and intimate area. Not her face! Not her chest!". Apparently "Men's eyes will follow the lines right up her legs and finish the picture in their imagination. Women's eyes may do the same thing, but since women don't have the same type of temptations, their imaginations don't complete the picture in the same way as men's do."

This is my absolute favourite quote out of the article:

"When a woman is wearing pants, a man's eyes will (much to his embarrassment) fall to a woman's crotch. These men also pointed out that it is something that happens without their wanting to do it, or without their realizing it. It's the nature of men "to look" ... and they do!"

Transhumanists and American Princesses

An article about cyborgs, body modification and self-mutilation in Slate Magazine, mentions George Dvorsky, President of the Toronto Transhumanist Association. He "wants to use cyber- and biotechnology to elevate all animals to human status" [From Slate].

I think this is silly, selfish, a waste of time and plays to an idea, pervasive among uneducated and self absorbed individuals who don't understand that evolution does not have an ultimate goal or direction and therefore, one species is not "better" than another. All your genes want to do is reproduce and they don't care why or how. These same individuals also haven't stop to think that not everyone wants to be just like them and despite lacking the right design to speak, compute complex equations or make pancakes, they might not need to in order to be happy.

How about using common decency to elevate all animals to human status? Or even, dare I say it, elevate all
humans to human status?

----------------

Actually, upon reading this article about participants int the WE TV show American Princess, I might need to take that last statement back. I want these people out of my species, particularly the one that said,

"Getting a British title would make things a lot easier, I could put it on my card or my résumé."

Won't someone please think of the cupcakes!

According to todays New York Times, schools in this country are finally getting on Jamie Oliver's bandwagon and improving the food served in cafeterias. Unfortunately, this means that some schools are no longer allowing cupcakes to be served during birthday celebrations. Texas has taken measures to make sure this possibly psychologically damaging atrocity won't happen to their children and enacted the Safe Cupcake Amendment, adding it to the states nutrition policy.

Really. The states nutrition policy.

Don't Texas parents have something better to do than lobby to save cupcakes? For example, instilling the value of good nutrition and a healthy lifestyle for their children?

The Amplification of the Con.

Although the person who forwarded this to me reminded me that there are probably a million stories like it, I still think it's worth posting.


It's about a man who makes huge bids and attempts at takeovers over such companies as Sony Corp., Playboy Enterprises, Inc., but he's actually a homeless guy from the Tenderloin. At least he was, until he moved to Argentina "where he has a home, a fiancee and cats."

Here's some money, go and see a Star War.

Does anyone else think that General Patraeus' name sounds like a Star Wars character?

My Stapler

Upon losing my stapler for the 3rd time, I have since taped this picture to it. Hopefully this will serve as a gentle reminder.

What a strange, strange looking man.

Ryan emailed me telling me he needed more t-shirts. He asked me what I thought of this one, from American Apparel (in lapis).

For those too lazy to click the link*, I've provided the offending picture below and must ask the question: What the hell were they thinking?The man looks like it's laundry day and he's borrowed his mother's shirt in order to go to the laundromat between his Cheetoh snack break and the next episode of Judge Judy. Possibly, if he feels up do it, he might play some Playstation later on or watch a porno if his mother decides to go to bridge tonight. Either that or he's Gene Wilder's illegitimate son. Maybe he's both.

For more amusing t-shirts that are actually wearable: www.threadless.com


*Addendum 27 November 2007: They have since changed the picture. It is no longer of the sad, sad man pictured above, it is of the gaunt, large-headed man below. Please buy something from American Apparel. This man needs to eat.

Making fun of California

Years ago, after the gubernatorial elections resulting in California's current administration line up, I said to a friend,

"Shit. Now we can't make fun of Minnesota anymore."

Now, it's possible, that Michigan won't be able to make fun of us anymore:

http://www.maconareaonline.com/news.asp?id=18176

Although, I have to say that Ted Nugent is a far more appropriate person to run for political office, given the fact that he has, well, opinions about stuff, as opposed to Mr. Schwarzenegger, who has opinions about his hummer.

"At least he has an ethos"

It's interesting because on the point of catching his own food and not liking Hilary Clinton (albeit he is a bit more vehement on this point), I agree with him: I can't say I agree with anything Mr. Schwarzenegger believes in because as far as I can tell, he doesn't believe in anything, particularly.

Strange.

What's between California and New York City again?

Only people not from around here call San Francisco "Frisco" and California "Cali".

Craigslist, always entertaining.

Saw this ad, while perusing Craigslist. I clicked on it, not because I'm in the market to rent a 4 bedroom mansion in Hillsborough for $6500 a month, instead to see what a $6500 a month rental (that's $1650 a room, mind you) would get you.

Upon reading the ad, I realized that it gives you the right to abuse a thesaurus:

One of the parts of the "public living space" (the description of the house is divided into "public" and "private") is a "gated service yard". This was my favourite part of the ad. Why? because of this line:

* Service Yard is gated and a wonderful area to sequester kids, plants or pets

You know, in case your kids, plants and pets need to withdraw into monastic seclusion.

Animals wierder than me

I'm always on the look out for things that are weirder than I am. It helps me feel secure.

Anyway.

Here's the latest, an article from the BBC about a dog with two (2) noses. Forwarded to me by my brother and also seen on Fark.

"He said: "While we were there, sitting by the fire one night, I saw an extraordinary-looking dog that appeared to have two noses.

I was sober at the time, and then I remembered the story that the legendary explorer Colonel Percy Fawcett came back with in 1913 of seeing such strange dogs in the Amazon jungle.

Nobody believed him, they laughed him out of court."

Also from the article

"[The dog] was "quite an aggressive little chap" who stood about 16 inches in height and loved salt biscuits but "wasn't a terribly handsome dog"."

And

"He's very intelligent and with a wonderful sense of smell, as you might think."

Wholesome wear

My friend MargoBee sent me a link to this website about a new line of clothing featuring swimming suits designed to meet the apparent desperate need for modest swim wear. According to the website, their “Waterwear is the first [of their line] to be introduced because the need for modesty in swim wear is greatest and the supply is almost non-existent.”

I’d like to know who actually wrote the copy for the site because that is a strange, ambiguous, poorly constructed and nonsensical statement. Obviously if the need for apparent modesty in swim wear was “greatest” (I'm not actually sure to what context they are referring), this would have been capitalized on years ago. Since it isn’t, the supply is as, the website itself asserts, non-existent.

Until now. Or rather, since the 1850’s.

There are 3 kinds of swimwear, all featuring a spandex undergarment of some mildly offensive colour/pattern – designed to bring attention to the face - and a loose fitting black, purple or blue “Taslan” (whatever the hell that is) potato sack that they refer to as an “outer garment”. All I could think about was how ridiculously inefficient swimming in one of those things would be and that at a price of $50 - $70, one could just as easily swim in shorts and a t shirt.

But that would look ridiculous.

The designs are as follows:

“Culotte” – for the more active swimmer

"Skirted" - for more flexibility, appropriate for going "downtown" after swimming "Slimming" - unsnaps for modest out of water look and with colour lines to help give a slender look.

Awesome.

Reasons People Have Sex

I was forwarded a survey about reasons people have sex.

I skimmed it, because, well, it's a medical paper and I was only interested in "the gist", otherwise known as the abstract, and possibly the conclusion.

Basically,

"Historically, the reasons people have sex have
been assumed to be few in number and simple in nature–to
reproduce, to experience pleasure, or to relieve sexual
tension. Several theoretical perspectives suggest that motives
for engaging in sexual intercourse may be larger in
number and psychologically complex in nature."

This study attempted to learn what other reasons there might be for people to want to have sex, aside from reproduction, you want to and it feels good. The possibilities are quite numerous and amusing.

Here are some of my personal favourites, chosen because of the scenarios that could potentially cause them to occur:

"I wanted to change the topic of conversation"

"I wanted to see what it would be like to have sex with another person."

"It was a favor to someone."

"It seemed like good exercise."

and my personal favourite:

"I wanted to keep warm."

A Slippery Cyan Farmer

He is a slippery, cyan farmer.

^

need ,

I just found a sheet of note paper on which was written the above inscription in my hand. What was I thinking? It's really fun for me to find things that I wrote years earlier and now have not only no recollection of but also no idea why I was writing them.

Also on that sheet of note paper is a derivation of the Trapezoidal Rule for numerical integration of an arbitrary function of a single variable.

Things to do today:
1. I need to do about 3 loads of laundry
2. We should wash my sleeping bag for you
3. Increase the fidelity of plans for a trip to England

I opened the second jar of yoghurt today. It was thick, and yoghurty, and quite good. You should have some from this second jar; it's really much better than the first bit that we ate. I think, next time, it would be good to use whole milk rather than 2%.

Slippery, cyan,
-Ryan

Interspecies collaboration

This is totally cool.

After collecting the [caddis fly] larvae from their normal environments, he relocates them to his studio where he gently removes their own natural cases and then places them in aquaria that he fills with alternative materials from which they can begin to recreate their protective sheaths. He began with only gold spangles but has since also added the kinds of semi-precious and precious stones (including turquoise, opals, lapis lazuli and coral, as well as pearls, rubies, sapphires, and diamonds) seen here. The insects do not always incorporate all the available materials into their case designs, and certain larvae, Duprat notes, seem to have better facility with some materials than with others. Additionally, cases built by one insect and then discarded when it evolves into its fly state are sometimes recovered by other larvae, who may repurpose it by adding to or altering its size and form.

James Bond: Pawn of the Western Propoganda Machine

My father's views on the article mentioned below - he was able to see the original films when they were first released. He's that old. :

"But it all was tied up so closely to its time. The West was drunk over
unfounded claims of superior military power, technology was peeping its
head and amazing the donkey riders in the streets of London, the shock
of Soviet Sputnik only enlivened the imagination but pressured the
propagandists for more make belief.

When I watched Dr. Who in Leicester Square Warner Brothers theater, I
recall a mixture of three feelings: excitement at the unshakably self
confidence of Jamsie (something to emulate?), his gadgets, which were
not so many, but a distinct feeling of disgust at the subtle whipping of
anti-Soviet feelings.

The title of "From Russia with Love" was my confirmation - although, in
a sense, it did not take direct digs at the achievements of those who
sent the first man in space and helped many countries withstand the
onslaught of Uncle Sam... Still it achieved that aim in another subtle
and smooth take: by simply demonstrating that the reaction of Soviet
officials is exactly what the worst Right wing tabloids had been telling
the innocent sheep. Watching in the darkness the, dazed and bewildered,
how a single man, "with 2 liters of alcohol coursing in his system"
RELIEVE them of a nightmare the propagandists wanted them to have.

It was the time. And Jamsie Bondo was the man."

I'm assuming he meant Dr. No and not Dr.Who and his reference to "Jamsie Bondo" is really a reference to "Jerzy Bondov" from The Living Daylights.

James Bond: Incompetent Boob

Those of you who know me may not know that I am a James Bond Fan, as they say. I've seen almost every James Bond film, barring anything starring Pierce Brosnan as he is dreadful. More dreadful than, say, George Lazenby. Maybe.

Anyway. This article espouses the poor quality of Bond's spying abilities as demonstrated in the movie Goldfinger (for a more informative link, go here). For example, his managing to get two sisters killed, both of whom he has coaxed into bed with him at some point or another (one by raping in a stable yard!).

At first, I was upset and disappointed by the article. Who was James Bond if he wasn't a successful, magnetic, attractive (albeit usually somewhat flabby with the exception of Daniel Craig's portrayal ...sigh) debonair super spy, full of smarts and class and romanticism with a touch of a wifebeating devil-may-care attitude...?

Then I remembered that the reason I watch James Bond is the kitsch and the tragic ludicrousness... or perhaps the ludicrous tragedy.

And nothing is more ludicrously tragic than a drunk, incompetent spy.

You're stripping all the life force off of that swiss chard, man.

Today I was fortunate enough to have been made aware of these:

My brother brought them to my attention and we came to this end:

Can't you just imagine the person wearing these, speeding down the highway at 50 mph in a Prius, arguing about Burning Man on his iPhone, wearing those weird woven Palazzo pants that all the tourists in South America buy, with some over priced soy latte drink?

Can you pass The Mull of Kintyre test?

My brother sent me this link, with the question "Can you pass the Mull of Kintyre test?"

It's British bureaucracy at it's finest: to have a designation for erection appropriateness and to make is as arbitrary as a rudely shaped bit of geography.

I had a lot of responses;

"No. I fail it, constantly."

To which he responded:

"I'm quite disturbed that you can take it at all."

I countered:

"Well. The reason I fail it so resoundingly is that I have a constant erection.

In a jar."

Then:

"Actually, it's because of my little problem."

Finally I descend into childishness*:

"That's funny because I've got a thingy that looks just like a peninsula!"

And then idiocy:

"Mah Mull of Kintyre is too big.

Mah Mull of Kintyre is Too Big!

Mah Mull of Kintyre is TOOO BIG!

I AM A BANANA."


*(1m53s)

Charmingly awful

I'm collecting some of my favorite pictures from Lulu.


This is along the same lines as wanting to decorate a room in my house entirely with original artwork found at thrift shops and garage sales.


I like the idea that someone poured their heart and soul into something absolutely mediocre - whether or not they are aware of their mediocrity. I think that the idea is beautiful and smacks of effort that is so rare in today's sarcastic*, lazy world, albeit that it is somewhat painful for me, the observer.

Not to say that these people's books are necessarily bad, I can't say as I have not read them. I can say, however, that their pictures sure are.

I'd like to mention as I have already said, that I love the principal of Lulu, I just wish it was better organized. It is the ultimate representation of American democracy - the ability to take things into your own hands, faulted by it's own lousy programming. The opportunity for free speech for everyone, even those who possibly should not have it.

Coming Soon....

This blog, as seen on The Internet, published by Lulu.


*I am aware of the "pot-kettle" implications of this statement.

Plans

I will be here this weekend.

And then here.

And finally, here.

Oh Lulu Self Publisher, how I do hate thee…

Oh Lulu Self Publisher, how I do hate thee…

The principal is so nice

But my wrists I want to slice

Your system is so awful

It should be unlawful

How frustrating and clunky

Full of bugs and junky

Oh Lulu, I do hate thee…

And now, A Scotsmen with a Computer

I sympathise with this man and salute the police officer for being so understanding.

We made cheese

http://biology.clc.uc.edu/Fankhauser/Cheese/neufchatel/neufchatel.htm

We made neufchatel cheese. That biology professor has a recipe for
pretty much what we made.

-Ryan


Ryan and I made cheese this weekend. I had a particularly frustrating day at work on Friday, no thanks to the technical geniuses at Lulu.com. (I believe that Lulu hires people who weren't savvy enough to maintain positions at Fry's).

True to form, Ryan suggested making cheese upon my request for "something fun" to do, which is what we did on Saturday evening and part of Sunday. Interspersed with watching Fargo and Drop Dead Fred, of course, two memorable films.

The cheese turned out soft and salty, very creamy and delicious.

Next step, I'm going to suggest this to Ryan, is that we make an entire meal from scratch.

Soup, bread, cheese, fresh salad and PIE. All from ingredients picked and grown by us or at least locally grown/produced.

Following this will be our local stew incorporating indigenous plants.

Guns, Cold Beer and a Wedding Dress

Theme:

Marriage. Children. Settling down.

I can’t stop running into it.

Right now, it’s because I feel like I’m being left behind, like I missed some sort of memo, like my avoidance is going to result in my eternal unhappiness. Eternal unhappiness, because I see girls who are so adamant that that is what they want and are so sure that they’ll be able to stop worrying about everything when they are finally married and pregnant. And what if they’re right?

I don’t see the same stability that my contemporaries do. Instead, I see the commitment of having to stay in one place, the stress of having a sick child or being dependant on someone else – and thus being restricted. Arguments about money, compromising your lifestyle and the general worry and responsibility that comes with being part of a family.

I had a practice family for 3 years and I’m sure my fears were enhanced by the experience. When you make that kind of a commitment to someone, there is no going back. You put up with things, change in ways that might not necessarily be right for you and buy furniture you don’t like, all for the sake of keeping everything together.

Despite seeing all of this, I can’t shake of the nagging thought that I’m missing something. It’s not that I don’t want to get married and have children; it’s that I’m afraid to.

I’m not thrilled by the thought of a proposal, I’m nauseated by the attention it will illicit.

I have no need to “have a day”; I don’t think it’s my right as a female and having everyone make a fuss over me is not my idea of fun.

I don’t want to talk to people about babies and being pregnant, the idea that I might not have anything better to talk about is absolutely upsetting. Also, I am petrified of the idea of someone I don’t know rubbing my stomach and am concerned that were it to happen, I might have a somewhat violent reaction.

One might argue that I am generalizing. I don’t disagree, however my reaction is to my peers, who are excited and obsessed by these generalizations. I want someone to explain it to me without blaming their mothers or the media.

Sometimes I get the urge to animatedly and firmly tell my close friends that are in the wedding head-zone, that they should not be defined by their mates and that happiness is achieved by exploration and reflection, not by tying a man to themselves and proving adequacy through competitive child rearing. Occasionally though (and I don’t believe that it’s necessarily incongruous with the earlier sentiment) I think, maybe having someone express to me, possibly using more than words, that he wants to spend his life with me might be kind of nice.

And his little dog, too...

Who else finds this absolutely offensive?

It's a portion of www.whitehouse.gov that is devoted to Barney, the dog. You may remember him from starring in such films as Where in the White House is Miss Beazley? (Barney Cam III, 2004), Barney has found Miss Beazley (2005), Barney's Holiday Extravaganza (Barney Cam V, 2006), and My Barney Valentine (2007).

Its a testament to how seriously this administration takes it's voters that taxpayer's money has been used to have this on the same site used to research foreign policy, defense, education, health care and any number of topics of much more importance.

This weekend

This weekend

I had an awesome weekend.

Friday:
I made my first whiskey sours, from scratch I might add. I shan't go into the details of the evening, sufficed to say a good time was had by all.

People should have good times more often.

Saturday:
Larke picked me up, we headed to Reno for the REK show, picking up Nik + Amy in Davis. I can't explain the singular enjoyment of a road trip. It doesn't matter the destination although a good one helps.

I got back yesterday evening, cleaned my room and did laundry while Ryan read me a Roal Dahl story.

Lists; things that make me happy

This makes me happy:


It is blooming in my house.

Jons and Johns and Misinformation

John is my close friend. In high school, he knew another good friend of mine, Jon. He's also friends with my brother Jon. He is involved with a girl right now who used to date my ex boyfriend Jon (not the Jon that John knew in high school). Apparently Jon told his other ex girlfriend who John is currently involved with that I said unpleasant things about John's sexual history.


I know other Jons and Johns. But they're nicer to me and don't purvey misinformation. Very much.

I urge parents to please be more original. How on earth can I keep track of all these rumors about me if everyone has the same name??

Old Posts.

To clarify, I wrote this awhile ago, during my obsession with Huell Howser, a man who finds everything interesting.


October 3rd, 2005

Yesterday:

First day of Foothill/DeAnza horsemanship class. I was there all day, saying the same thing over and over again.

Today:

I learned about the Integratron:

The Integratron is the creation of George Van Tassel, and is based on the design of Moses’ Tabernacle, the writings of Nikola Tesla and telepathic directions from extraterrestrials. This one-of-a-kind building is a 38-foot high, 55-foot diameter, non-metallic structure originally designed by Van Tassel as a rejuvenation and time machine. Today, it is the only all-wood, acoustically perfect sound chamber in the U.S.

Scientist and pilot, Bruce Cathie, pronounced from his research that the Integratron has

"the same harmonic value that is built into the King's Chamber in the Great Pyramid. I believe that this harmonic is connected with inter-dimensional values. The yin/yang or gateway to dimensions."

Huell Howser, PBS travel log guru, says

"You made a believer out of me. I can FEEL the energy here!"

Recording artist, Billy Corgan, of rock groups Smashing Pumpkins and Zwan, says,

"I believe that projects like this should be supported."

Celebrities have discovered the relaxing and rejuvenating benefits of a Sound Bath at the Integratron, one calling it

"their new favorite desert experience."

Anyway. I live with my brother and my boyfriend. His girlfriend is here a lot too, so between the three of us, her and our dog we have five little warm bodies here.

Tomorrow:

One more day of weekend. Clean up after the five little warm bodies, including the kitchen, living room and our bedroom.

---------------------------

My situation is as follows.

As I mentioned earlier we have five warm little bodies that are here. We live in just one piece of a large building which is one of several buildings in our condominuim complex. Thinking about the building we live in reminds me of the picture on the box of the ant farm that my mother gave me when I was eight. The ants had dug several main tunnels, off of which were little holes like compartments that may or may not have had other little compartments attached to them.

We live in a compartment that has two smaller ones attached where we keep our personal things, including beds. Three of us warm little bodies use one, and the other two use the second.

So we live in a big city just full of these little ant farm buildings. It's a nice big city, but unfortunatly our ant farm is on the outskirts so I don't get to experience it much.

Moving here was supposed to change everything, but I am still unhappy.

Surrounded by pregnancy

http://www.nwfdailynews.com/article/6816

Yesterday I went and met a high school friend of my boyfriend and his wife. My boyfriend refers to the wife as "and his child-bride" because she's 19 or 20 or something. And pregnant.

I kept trying to figure out what exactly it was that she does other than provide fertile ground for her husband's seed and was not able to determine much. I also had a brief moment of panic when another family showed up, small children in tow.

These were the two prevailing thoughts in my head:

-I don't dislike the idea of staying at home all day with the kids, in fact I like it. I think mothers and fathers should be around their kids as much as possible and if you can afford it, you should have at least one parent at home. The only thing is I don't ever see myself in that position and I don't know why. Perhaps it's because I've never been close to marrying anyone responsible enough to be the sole breadwinner or really any kind of breadwinner or even someone capable of taking care of a cactus let alone me and/or a child. Perhaps it's because I have these conflicting principles about earning my own money, standing on my own ground and, at the same time, wanting to be taken care of and looked after. Perhaps it's because having total and utter dependency on just one human being is so terrifying that I can't or couldn't bear it. So I was totally fascinated by someone who had it all mapped out for her. The ease and simplicity of not having to make any real choices besides what to make for dinner; the docile, gentle, guilt-free acquiescence, of a pregnant 19 year old. I sometimes wish that was my world.

- The brief moment of panic following the arrival of the family. I don't know where it came from. It slowly dissipated, but was not a feeling I was unfamiliar with.

----------------------------------

Despite all of this, I am still amazed at the restorative powers of a nice cup of tea.

Lists; things that make me feel comfortably uncomfortable

A former student of mine asked me if I could answer some of her questions regarding my alma mater. I agreed and also put her in contact with other friends of mine that attended colleges on her list.

-She isn't necessarily like me when I was 16, however she definitely would have been my friend had we been born around the same time.

-I'm excited for her, because I'm watching her make a lot of the same discoveries I made at that age; it's hard for me, at times, not to spoil the surprise and just to let her figure out things on her own.

-She's falling in love with Kurt Vonnegut and The Flaming Lips among other heroes of mine. She's ambitious and warm and strange and says "Sometimes I weird people out; I try not to, though."

Lists; Things that I think are silly:

An Isuzu Rodeo that I saw in the parking lot that’s vanity plate read “CE LVIE”. Does that mean you’ve accepted the mediocrity to which your life has descended by the purchase of such a vehicle?

The banality of the Blandy*. Is he really that boring?

Nervousness on the part of my own submissions. Am I really
that boring?

*Not his real name. I'm aware of the Arrested Development reference.

I heart Craigslist

I'm looking for a new place to live. I came across this Craigslist Ad. It needs no embellishment from me:

$400 GEAT DEAL FOR STUDENTshitter for rent any time

i am renting a toilet for about a half hour a day for the summer
sorry females only or drags if you are cute tp not included
you will be put though a series of not needed to know qestions
wile you are here you should not be here we will lie to you and
try to fuck you out of your deposit any way so at least you know
that we are crooked morbid asshole that would rat out my own
mother for a hit of meth, crack, heroin, or a combo rock made of all
three thanks happy pooping

ps i wont call back in time and many hidden charges so piss off

You thought fermented potatoes were bad?

According to the Medical Journal, Lancet,

43% of deaths in working-age Russian men result from drinking non-beverage alcohol, such as cologne and cleaning agents. Even 8% of men in the control group drank non-beverage alcohol.

I mused to my friend J that perhaps they were drinking Axe Body Spray. He wrote back:

"Yikes. Why don't they just huff rags soaked in gasoline, like the rest of us?"

I'd provide a link to the article, but unfortunately you'd have to have permission to read it. Here's the summary:

Background

The reason for the low life expectancy in Russian men and large fluctuations in mortality are unknown. We investigated the contribution of alcohol, and hazardous drinking in particular, to male mortality in a typical Russian city.

Methods

Cases were all deaths in men aged 25–54 years living in Izhevsk occurring between Oct 20, 2003, to Oct 3, 2005. Controls were selected at random from the city population and were frequency matched to deaths by age. Interviews with proxy informants living in the same household as cases were done between Dec 11, 2003, and Nov, 16 2005, and were obtained for 62% (1750/2835) of cases and 57% (1750/3078) of controls. We ascertained frequency and usual amount of beer, wine, and spirits consumed and frequency of consumption of manufactured ethanol-based liquids not intended to be drunk (non-beverage alcohol), and markers of problem drinking. Complete information on markers of problem drinking, frequency of alcohol consumption, education, and smoking was available for 1468 cases and 1496 controls.

Findings

751 (51%) cases were classed as problem drinkers or drank non-beverage alcohol, compared with 192 (13%) controls. The mortality odds ratio (OR) for these men, compared with those who either abstained or were non-problematic beverage drinkers, was 6·0 (95% CI 5·0–7·3) after adjustment for smoking and education. The mortality ORs for drinking non-beverage alcohol in the past year (yes vs no) was 9·2 (7·2–11·7) after adjustment for age. Adjustment for volume of ethanol consumed from beverages lowered the OR to 8·3 (6·5–10·7), and further adjustment for education and smoking reduced it to 7·0 (5·5–9·0). A strong direct gradient with mortality was seen for frequency of non-beverage alcohol drinking independent of volume of beverage ethanol consumed. 43% of mortality was attributable to hazardous drinking (problem drinking or non-beverage alcohol consumption, or both) adjusted for smoking and education.

Interpretation

Almost half of all deaths in working age men in a typical Russian city may be accounted for by hazardous drinking. Our analyses provide indirect support for the contention that the sharp fluctuations seen in Russian mortality in the early 1990s could be related to hazardous drinking as indicated by consumption of non-beverage alcohol.

Shudder. Shudder. Shudder.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

"I've always wanted to set up an idyllic community of like-minded individuals where cousins are not only free to marry but are even forced to marry. It might be too good to be true, but I think it would be wonderful if they included a good dose of shunning in their daily activities; they could shun the newspaper, books, the movies, television, the internet, and any other source of information or education. I doubt it would take more than two or three short generations before the shunning habit led to gross misinformation about the world in general and genetics in specific and freak genetic mutations started becoming common. Wouldn't that be lovely? It would also be great if everybody sported fashions from the 19th century."

-RCD

In response to this article.

More on Birth Control Pills

So birth control pills contain Progesterone, a synthetic hormone that's part of the whole sneaky trick your body into thinking it's pregnant - it's non synthetic, naturally manufactured version present during pregnancy, progesterone is "the pregnancy hormon". The reason pregnant women create it is because of the fetus's having 50% of someone else's genetic material. It works as a natural immunosuppressor so that the mother's immune system does not attack the fetus. Obviously the mothers who didn't do this didn't have fetuses that made it to term and therefore did not pass on there genetic material.

The reason why women can have this high level of immuosuppressor is because they only have to do it for 9 months at a time. During this time, the have "greatly increased risk of blood clotting, high blood pressure, cancer, mental disturbances, weight gain, hormone swings and immune suppression" (Sarah Myhill, MD).

Think about doing that to your body for 5-10 years - I have plenty of friends that have taken the pill continually for that amount of time.
-------------
This causes a bit of frustration for me, because I would like to be able to use some sort of birth control beyond condoms. I just can't bring myself to go through what I did when I was on the Pill and now, after being exposed to the papers in the medical journals that I have access to at work, including the work by Dr. Ellen C. Grant, I am even more terrified of them.

Persons Anonymously Committing Crimes Against My Morals

The other day I walked into the kitchen at work with my empty tea mug.
Someone was standing at the sink with his mug. He looked
like he was getting ready to wash it when he turned to me and said:

"So, do we have cleaning people to come and wash these?"
------------------------------

Potato Leek Soup

Monday, June 04, 2007

1 onion

2 russet potatoes

3 red potatoes

4 or 5 Leeks

3 tomatoes

4 cloves garlic

Thyme, basil, salt and pepper

2 quarts vegetable stock

1 can coconut milk

Olive oil

-Chop half of the onion, both russet potatoes, 2 leeks, 2 tomatoes and add to pot of vegetable stock. Add 3 cloves of crushed garlic. Boil until everything is cooked. Add thyme, basil, salt and pepper to taste.

-While those vegetables are boiling, chop up the remainder of vegetables and reserve. Put the chopped red potatoes in a seperate pot and boil.

-Take cooked vegetables and stock and blend until smooth and delicious. Return to pot and stir in coconut milk. Leave on low heat to keep warm.

-Heat olive oil with 1 crushed/chopped garlic clove. Add onion, leek and cooked red potatoes. Add salt and sautee until colors are nice and vibrant. Add to soup along with (uncooked) chopped tomato.

Enjoy!

I can't wait for this movie:

The movie is called "Crazy Love" and it is about Bert and Linda Pugach. Here is a short summary of their story:

Linda Riss met Burt Pugach in 1957. They had a relationship for about a year, during which she discovered he was married. After realizing his promises to divorce his wife were not going to be followed through with, she left him. He stalked and threatened her and upon discovering her engagement to someone else, he hired somone to throw lye in her face, permanently disfiguring her and causing damage to her eyes that resulted in blindness later on. He went to jail for 14 years, proposed to her via television on the day of his parole (he wasn't allowed to ask her directly due to the restraining order preventing him from contacting her) and 8 months later they were married.

Weird huh? You always ask yourself (at least I do), how much of myself am I willing to comprimise in order to not be alone. For me, comprimising myself too much is a mistake I'm not willing to make again. These two people either have a really incredible sense of humor or none at all. I tend to think it is the former, based on this quote I found in the New York Times:

"Mrs. Pugach, who's skin looks remarkable for her 67 years, responds to compliments by saying "Lye is good for the skin but bad for the vision." When asked if his wife holds a grudge, Mr. Pugach, now 76, replied with a smile "She doesn't throw it in my face.""

..............................................

Birth Control Pills

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

At my new job, I have a lot of access to medical journals. My boss encourages me to do whatever reading of papers I feel is necessary to better myself as a person. I've made one or two astounding discoveries that I already had a few suspicions about from personal experience.

The birth control pill was an integral part of the sexual revolution. It was liberating for women in so many ways and had a pervasive effect on our culture and society. The FDA has recently approved a version of the pill that will allow women to suppress menstruation indefinitely. I used to think that this was a good thing, based on the evidence that women are not supposed to menstruate any where near as much as we do. We are designed to be pregnant or nursing a lot of the time, with high infant mortality rates, and thus would have menstruated a few times a year instead of a few times a month.

My own experience with birth control pills led me to some doubts about the safety of using birth control pills, given that they are synthetic hormones. I was highly sensitive, no matter what the dosage, trying 3 different kinds before I just gave up. I had severe anxiety, nausea, hot flashes and general discomfort. This led me, through a coworker who had a similar interest, to studies done by Dr. Ellen C. Grant, who was involved with the initial birth control studies done in the 60's.

It turns out, and I'll have more on this later (I've only done very preliminary research and I don't have a lot of time right now), that not only does the Pill come with potential acute side effects that we all know about such as thromboembelism (blood clots), stroke and heart attacks, but the Pill puts women at greater risk for long term heart and circulatory damage. This affects all women, not just those who are in the "at-risk" category.

There's a whole lot more to this story, with the almost certain damage to the circulatory system aside, but I urge all of you to learn as much as you can about drugs that your doctor might put you on or ones that you choose to take on your own.

La condition humaine

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

"La condition humaine is the art of suffering, enjoying oneself and
dying."

-Ivan Illich

I read an article today in Ode magazine (for intelligent optimists) about Ivan Illich and his views that technology and development get in the way of having a truly free and egalitarian society.

My favorite part of the article addressed a plan he devised to have a bicycle alliance. Everyone rides a bicycle and the only cars allowed on the road are taxis.

Bay to Breakers: lists

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Bay to Breakers tomorrow. I love that San Francisco has a drunk run for everyone to participate in. It makes it one of the best cities in the world.

Things to be excited about or things that are totally cool:

- Two kinds of pie that Ryan and I spent the afternoon baking. The plan was originally to spend the morning hiking and the afternoon baking pie. We didn't make it on the hike. That's not to say we didn't get our exercise though. Well. At least the cardio and some varying, challenging calisthenics. It was quite invigorating.

- Cardiovascular and calisthenic exercises. They are so awesome when you have a workout buddy!

- Silly birds, flowers, cocktail umbrellas in our hair plus red sparkly capes. Yay!

- The pies are for a dinner party at Claudia's after Bay to Breakers.

- Ryan is riding his bike to the dinner party from Palo Alto. Because he's awesome.

Things that are lame:

-My being unable to sleep at the moment.

- My friend's excuse for not doing Bay to Breakers (please keep in mind that although I am prone to exaggeration and the occasional fabrication, this is excuse is completely true and required no restructuring or embellishing from me in order to make it more lame than it already is) He hurt his back wearing a kilt that he wore to take his sister to her prom. I guess I would be more willing to take it as a legitimate excuse if he didn't seem to have excuses for everything.

- The same friend's excuse for not coming to dinner tomorrow. He hasn't made it yet and probably won't until a few days after the actual dinner but I'm sure there will be one and that sauce, as they say, will be weak. It will come in the form of an email, subject heading "Hey!" and the first word being "Sorry". If not that then it will be in a text message, by carrier pigeon or telegram, just as long as he doesn't have to talk to me in person about it, thus absolving himself of any need for testicular fortitude.

What a shame that a rare person, one that I genuinely think is a fun person to hang out with is flakier than a hippy on Phish tour.

FLICKRVISION

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

I've been staring at this for awhile now:

www.flickrvision.com

It's a totally awesome site that shows you what everybody in the world is uploading to Flickr.

Small Considerations

Saturday, May 12, 2007

I like them.

I'm frustrated with people who don't give them.

Unfortunate movies.

Current mood: horrified

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

www.lionsgate.com/deltafarce

Let me just begin by saying that I feel uncomfortable even saying the name of this film and I hope you do as well.

I saw a preview for this film when I went to see Hot Fuzz. I came to the conclusion that this is what happens when republicans make a comedy.

Apparently 3 incompentant soldiers get accidentally dropped into Mexico instead of Iraq and hijinks ensue.

But not the good kind of hijinks that happens in 80's movies, such as people falling in swimming pools, sneaking hot girls into your bedroom after hours and pies getting accidentally hurled into old ladies faces. Perhaps a car chase or two and definitely Rodney Dangerfield making wisecracks.

While watching the preview, I started to think about were I an actor, at what point would I accept such a role. How much of myself and my values would I need to comprimise would in order to get a job. Unfortunately I have a sneaking suspicions that these actors weren't really making any moral comprimises when they signed the contract for this film:

It stars three people who I had never heard of (until the magic of Wikipedia) including the freakish DJ Qualls, (star of such film gems as Road Trip and The New Guy), Bill Engvalls (even IMDB didn't really have much to say about him) and Larry the Cable Guy. Fans of "Dorf" and Jeff Foxworthy, hold on to your hats!

I went to Larry the Cable Guy's website because I was curious to see if he was the flag waving "Fuck Bin Ladin" t-shirt wearing moron that his name and presence in Delta Farce might denote.

Turns out, he is. He actually says this on the front page:

"The preceding script was for entertainment purposes only. If you're uptight, humorless, and P.C. in any way, please exit the site! Don't read this and then bitch and moan later on about it. I can't stress enough, life's too short so get over yourself. Now... me and my fans cordially invite you to pucker up and kiss our collective asses!"

If you have to excuse your bad jokes with a disclaimer after you've made them, then they aren't funny and neither are you.