"I'm really in the mood for some overcooked spaghetti noodles with some marinara sauce. But none of that fresh stuff, I'd like it to be permeated with the taste of the can it came from. Oh, and since I equate quantity, rather than quality, with value, I won't be happy unless I get a portion that is twice the size of my head - I want to make sure I get my money's worth. In addition to this, since this is a high class restaurant: one without televisions showing the "game", could you please make sure that there are enough ads in the menu? My poor social skills, illiteracy and general lack of taste and manners prevent me from concentrating or having a conversation on anything that is not an advertisement. "

Of all the poor quality restaurants you could go to in Downtown PA, why on earth would you go to the Cheesecake Factory?

I'd like someone to answer that question beyond saying "They don't know any better."

There is no excuse for eating bad food!