Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Dream job! Again!

In order to continue my current, non stressed lifestyle, but also to return somewhat to the lifestyle I became accustomed to in California, I have decided that I need a part time job to supplement the work I do for Paula and still allow me to ride for Casey and purchase avocados willy-nilly, so to speak.

I know in the past, I have noted jobs at Arby's and other such delightful places. Today I bring you a most prestigious of positions, offered by a company known for its quality products, built to last and bring tasteful elegance to your home, the Kmart Corporation. It is also known for its ability to employee marketing geniuses who realise that the word "shelf stocker" may dissuade people from applying for the job as they would have to tell people at cocktail parties that they were a "shelf stocker." Far better to present the job as:

Now you can proudly tell your friends that you are more than just a stocker, you are an associate and therefore an integral part of the Kmart Corporation. Did I say corporation? I meant family. Because you know how well treated and valued Kmart employees are. Why in Santa Barbara, they even employed the mentally handicapped people from the local halfway house, to help build a sense of community. Of course, this meant that Kmart didn't have to pay them full wages but that just made it win-win. Kmart saved money and these people were given a sense of purpose, as replenishment associates.

1 comment:

Conscious Zombie said...

KMart knows how to pass savings on to the consumer: why employ a full staff of minimum-wage workers when you can employ a full staff of sub-minimum-wage workers and a few minimum-wage Retard Wranglers to supervise the Replenishment Associates?

That's right. There's no good reason. Hire retards.