Wrong Texts

I got a strange text this morning. It was a picture of a girl - maybe middle school age - holding up candy. The text portion said:

sour
soccer rox

I texted back:

Think you may have texted a wrong number.

I assumed that this would be enough to end the conversation, although I was getting prepared to be annoyed any potential, "Oh! Sorry!" reply.

Then,

is this helene or no
soccer rox

I had thought with the first text that "soccer rox" must be because she was excited that she got sour candy at soccer. As in, the candy I received at soccer practice was sour, which is a what I like, therefore, soccer rocks. Now, I have a suspicion that it is a signature of some sort.

Nope. This is Alice.

Once again, I assumed that this would be enough to end the conversation. Once again, I overestimated this person.

oww w do u play soccer on palo alto and go to jordan
soccer rox

Here's the funny thing: I did go to Jordan. But probably several years before this girl was born. I never played soccer, though. I'd like to think that when I was a student at Jordan, however, I did realise that there was a world beyond Jordan*. That the likelihood of someone who was at the other end of a misdialed phone being just like me was probably fairly low. Surely my use of capital letters and punctuation must have tipper her off?

No. I'm 30 and I live in upstate NY.

Result. No 12 year old wants to text with a 30 year old. Most of the 12 year olds I've interacted with don't believe that old people know anything or do anything "cool" so what on earth was I doing text messaging?? Mutton dressed as lamb.

Like when Maria at the barn (42) mentioned to Karin (12) something about instant messaging.

"WHAT? You're too old to instant message."

"Um. I have to use it for work. Also, what does that even mean?"

I realise that I could have just stopped responding to the texts, but part of me wanted to embarrass her into using her brain a little. Particularly after the Jordan question.

*In fact, I know I realised it. I spent day after day after day wishing I could leave that horrible school. I couldn't wait to go to Paly, then I found Paly just as unbearable, probably because the same people went to Paly as went to Jordan.