A little over two months ago, I woke up super-itchy and did what I always do and looked up my symptoms on the internet. This is one of the great American past times, I know, and it is one of my past times. I also know that there is a sort of a Godwin's Law for it only for cancer instead of Hitler. If not cancer then something else serious and scary. There was that time I thought I had gout. My persistent fear of necrotising fasciitis. Et cetera. This time however, the awful serious thing the internet told me I had, I actually had. Spooky.