Funny things from Craigslist (again)

Ryan sold his motorbike using one of my favourite avenues for sampling the colourful soup that is the rest of the population, Craiglist. Here is a note he received from someone, in response to his ad.

Williams Smith:

Hi
am interested in buying the bike get back
to me with more info and how long you have owns it and also like to
know if you re the original owner.
Thanks


Ryan's response:

Sorry, the bike has been sold. I'll pull the ad this evening when I
get home from work.

-Ryan

Now the strange bit:

Ok
Got it i will like to purchase as it is, and like to make the
payment asap and the payment we be via cashiers check that
i will send to you so get to me with your name and address to write
the check out.And concerning the shipping i will handle
the shipping via my shipping company so all i need to do now is to
send you a check of excess fund so you can deduct your
money and send the excess to my shipping who is currently in bay area
for the pick at yourresidence after the check clears
to my house here in Florida so get back to me with the info to send
the check out.please contact me now for immediate
arrangement
Thanks
Am happy doing business with you.

After I read the above correspondence, I came up with a response, although I suspect Ryan will just ignore Mr. Williams Smith.


Dear Strange Person Who Clearly Does Not Read Very Well,

As I stated earlier, I have already SOLD THE BIKE. In addition to this, I refuse to do business with scam artists. Maybe you aren't a scam artist. If not, I strongly suggest you learn to write properly because your illiteracy strongly suggests to me that if you are not trying to "pull something" to use the parlance of our times, you would be incapable of completing even the smallest of transactions, let alone something that involved shipping a $3500 bike across the United States.

I am curious though: what the hell were you planning on doing?

-Ryan