Monday, March 19, 2007

Bloody Noses and Dirty Hippies

Here's a funny story kids.

Saturday night, in a farm-fresh stupor, I walked into a wall and gave myself a bloody nose. This is the first time a physical act has resulted in my getting a bloody nose. I got bloody noses all the time when I was little, but it was always a very random occurrence, my mother always attributed it to my being "over tired" (I came to understand later that this was her excuse for everything).

This bloody nose episode, I had gotten up from my couch in the living room where I had been watching a what is really the only thing appropriate to watch at 1 in the morning in a farm-fresh stupor, a horror film, circa 1979. I was also trying desperately to forget the drunken, dirty hippy with the worst case of gum disease I have ever had the displeasure of witnessing at close hand. He had followed me around claiming my accent was fake, asking me would I please stop faking it and could he have some of my whiskey. He then proceeded to inform me that my dog really loved him and that a dog's closest relative was a dolphin (if you look at the snout, it's obvious, apparently). Then he sat way too close to me on the couch and made remarks about my sexual history, mainly along the lines of "I know all about you." repeated over and over again. I finally got up and went home.
The horror movie that I was watching came to an end, I got up and stumbled towards what I though was the hall that leads to my bedroom, but was in fact the wall of the hall that leads to my bedroom.

The reason I'm writing about it now is because it is still on my mind, because it still hurts - It feels like when you jump into a pool and you forget to breathe out and all the water rushes up your nose and pounds into your sinuses.

Either that or it feels like I snorted Tang.

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