My brother sent me this link, with the question "Can you pass the Mull of Kintyre test?"
It's British bureaucracy at it's finest: to have a designation for erection appropriateness and to make is as arbitrary as a rudely shaped bit of geography.
I had a lot of responses;
"No. I fail it, constantly."
To which he responded:
"I'm quite disturbed that you can take it at all."
"Well. The reason I fail it so resoundingly is that I have a constant erection.
In a jar."
"Actually, it's because of my little problem."
Finally I descend into childishness*:
"That's funny because I've got a thingy that looks just like a peninsula!"
And then idiocy:
"Mah Mull of Kintyre is too big.
Mah Mull of Kintyre is Too Big!
Mah Mull of Kintyre is TOOO BIG!
I AM A BANANA."