Wholesome wear

My friend MargoBee sent me a link to this website about a new line of clothing featuring swimming suits designed to meet the apparent desperate need for modest swim wear. According to the website, their “Waterwear is the first [of their line] to be introduced because the need for modesty in swim wear is greatest and the supply is almost non-existent.”

I’d like to know who actually wrote the copy for the site because that is a strange, ambiguous, poorly constructed and nonsensical statement. Obviously if the need for apparent modesty in swim wear was “greatest” (I'm not actually sure to what context they are referring), this would have been capitalized on years ago. Since it isn’t, the supply is as, the website itself asserts, non-existent.

Until now. Or rather, since the 1850’s.

There are 3 kinds of swimwear, all featuring a spandex undergarment of some mildly offensive colour/pattern – designed to bring attention to the face - and a loose fitting black, purple or blue “Taslan” (whatever the hell that is) potato sack that they refer to as an “outer garment”. All I could think about was how ridiculously inefficient swimming in one of those things would be and that at a price of $50 - $70, one could just as easily swim in shorts and a t shirt.

But that would look ridiculous.

The designs are as follows:

“Culotte” – for the more active swimmer

"Skirted" - for more flexibility, appropriate for going "downtown" after swimming "Slimming" - unsnaps for modest out of water look and with colour lines to help give a slender look.

Awesome.